picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue
Notice: Dream Weaver by Gary Wright could quite possibly be the most annoying song ever written.
Dear Gary-
Those electric wind chimes or whatever the fuck you have in the background of that song makes me want to kill someone, more specifically, it makes me want to kill you. Hearing your phony ass lyrics and the forced feeling you sing with is like listening to a dying yack being beaten to death with giant bag full of more dying yacks. I'd rather attach a pair of jumper cables to my testicles than listen to the shit you try to write off as music.
Love,
Matt
Honestly, I don't know anything about Mr. Wright or why his music bothers me so much. There's plenty of music out there that I don't like but for some reason which I can't explain, Dream Weaver makes me want to stomp kittens (thought I'd put an animal cruelty joke in here to placate all the animal haters out there). And I like kitten too so it's a very odd feeling for me. Dream Weaver just makes me want to destroy something beautiful.
Anyhow, today was the last day of finals for me. That undoubtedly means nothing to anyone but I just thought I'd share it with you.
It also turns out I have carpal tunnel syndrome; most likely due to the excessive amount of masturbation and typing that I do. I have some brace for my wrist now but it makes it very hard to use the keyboard and even harder to stroke myself without some serious chaffing occurring from the velcro strap. Could be worse though; at least I'm not this guy-
Some People Will Try Anything
This man thought it would be a good idea to inject cocaine into his penis. Needless to say, it didn't turn out too well for him. After a three day erection, his dick fell off and his blood coagulated forcing the doctors to amputate both his legs and all but one finger. I feel sorry for the poor bastard; even a three day hard on isn't worth that.
Lesson to be learned: Don't inject cocaine into your penis... unless you're Gary Wright. Seriously, do it Gary. You know you want to. Please, dear god, have him do it. I beg you. God, just listen to Dream Weaver. Trust me, having his dick fall off and losing his legs and fingers is getting off easy for bringing a song like that into this world.
--Note--
My goal for my next post is to actually come up with something decent that doesn't involve such horrible imagery (unless you like kitten stomping, amputee, yak smut that is). I don't know if I can do that. This blog has been getting worse and worse but I'll see what I can do.
"I've just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train
Driver take away my worries of today
And leave tomorrow behind"
Dear Gary-
Those electric wind chimes or whatever the fuck you have in the background of that song makes me want to kill someone, more specifically, it makes me want to kill you. Hearing your phony ass lyrics and the forced feeling you sing with is like listening to a dying yack being beaten to death with giant bag full of more dying yacks. I'd rather attach a pair of jumper cables to my testicles than listen to the shit you try to write off as music.
Love,
Matt
Honestly, I don't know anything about Mr. Wright or why his music bothers me so much. There's plenty of music out there that I don't like but for some reason which I can't explain, Dream Weaver makes me want to stomp kittens (thought I'd put an animal cruelty joke in here to placate all the animal haters out there). And I like kitten too so it's a very odd feeling for me. Dream Weaver just makes me want to destroy something beautiful.
Anyhow, today was the last day of finals for me. That undoubtedly means nothing to anyone but I just thought I'd share it with you.
It also turns out I have carpal tunnel syndrome; most likely due to the excessive amount of masturbation and typing that I do. I have some brace for my wrist now but it makes it very hard to use the keyboard and even harder to stroke myself without some serious chaffing occurring from the velcro strap. Could be worse though; at least I'm not this guy-
Some People Will Try Anything
This man thought it would be a good idea to inject cocaine into his penis. Needless to say, it didn't turn out too well for him. After a three day erection, his dick fell off and his blood coagulated forcing the doctors to amputate both his legs and all but one finger. I feel sorry for the poor bastard; even a three day hard on isn't worth that.
Lesson to be learned: Don't inject cocaine into your penis... unless you're Gary Wright. Seriously, do it Gary. You know you want to. Please, dear god, have him do it. I beg you. God, just listen to Dream Weaver. Trust me, having his dick fall off and losing his legs and fingers is getting off easy for bringing a song like that into this world.
--Note--
My goal for my next post is to actually come up with something decent that doesn't involve such horrible imagery (unless you like kitten stomping, amputee, yak smut that is). I don't know if I can do that. This blog has been getting worse and worse but I'll see what I can do.
"I've just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train
Driver take away my worries of today
And leave tomorrow behind"
posted by velvetcake at 5:53 PM
1 Comments:
that was funny, I didn't know what that link was, but the second I clicked on it and read the first sentence my penis started hurting in remeberance to when I had previously read it. Also too bad about the CT, I thought that brace in your room WAS for masturbation, and other assorted treats and saying of wit and humor. have a merry christmas and in case I don't see ya, happy 4th of july
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