my problem... one of them at least

Two of my friends (I should really note that this sentence would have normally read 'my friend and his girlfriend' but because my friend's girlfriend mentioned that she didn't like to be labeled as such since she's just as much my friend as her boyfriend is, and because I'm such a caring and empathetic person who heads all the comments on his blog, I will from now on anonymously refer to her as my 'friend' or maybe even 'lady friend' if I feel like it, unless of course she has a problem with this which could very well happen because I'm in fact neither caring nor empathetic and usually read the comments on here in utter reverie... anyway) recently brought to my attention that my real problem when it comes to 'getting it on with the ladies' isn't necessarily the fact that I'm a pathetic loser with a face that could stop an enraged Yeti dead in his tracks (though he was nice enough not to rule that facet out completely) but because I think much less of myself than I actually should. I'm sure in somebody's sad and twisted mind, those would be considered words of encouragement but I think I might be looking at it a bit different. I see it as just another hurdle to leap in my endeavor to find a companion in this forever darkening pool of empty dreams and pain that some sick fuck decided to call life (talk about a depressing sentence - thinking I might have overdone that one a bit).

Essentially what the conversation amounted to was that I'm not Don Juan and even if I was Don Juan I'd be too stupid and inept to know it. The opportunities I don't have are passing me by just as fast as the opportunities I don't think I have are. Of course, at the same time this is happening, I'm attempting to woo a girl that I in fact have absolutely no chance of wooing because I'm about as good at telling a girl is interested in me as I am at playing the accordion with my penis. I mean, you're told that you don't see the possibilities right in front of your face so you think you have a chance with a girl you don't actually have any hope of getting with. You think you're just not picking up on something while she's contemplating picking up some mace and a restraining order. All this sort of makes you want to crawl under a rock and then beat yourself to death with another smaller, pointier rock.

I'd like to think I'm being far too dramatic about the whole process. I'd like to think that it's much easier than I'm making it out to be. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Maybe everyone I talk to just has something I don't. Maybe life isn't fair. Maybe... maybe I should spend more time trying to get girls to like me and less time talking about it on my blog. What a fucking loser.

--Note--
Honesty, one of my problems I think I have is that I go for women that have too many expectations. I need women who are well, looser (not just the way you're thinking but also who don't have such rigid criteria for adequate boyfriends - lets face it, if a girl is going to go out with me they can't exactly be stringent). I'm thinking I'll start with prostitutes and then work my way up from there. I don't have much money though... let me see... what can three dollars get you these days?


"Well my temperature's rising
And my feet left the floor
Crazy people knocking,
'Cause they want it some more.
Let me in baby,
I don't know what you got
But you better take it easy.
This place is hot."


--Edit/Update--
Big story on Digg -
Researchers Discover That Dogs Laugh
I'm no pet lover but really, who gives a flying fuck?
Had to get that off my chest. Sorry.