tickled pink and flying high on a cloud of unimaginable joy
Apparently my recent attempt at telling a merry story wasn't in hindsight particularly jocular and just came off as flippant. I guess I didn't deliver then so I'm sure as hell going to now. Alright? You wanted happy and I'm going to give you all out happy. You got that? Here's jolly you ungrateful simpletons.
The other day while I was drawing sparkles in one of my notebooks with my favorite glitter pen and reflecting on how delightfully sun-drenched the day had been, I saw a rainbow and my eyes started to twinkle. I thought of ponies and added one into my picturesque scene. It was so tasty and winsome. But I thought my pony might get lonely so I had added puppies with big pink ribbons around their necks to keep him company. Ponies love puppies. Kitties too I imagined so I threw a few of those fabulously fluffy little creatures in also. I was so amazingly happy. Life was bubbly. I began to think about how great everything was. And just when I thought my overwhelming ecstasy from simply breathing and living couldn't get any better, elves busted in singing the Care Bears theme song and chocolate began falling from the sky. Magic was in the air. As if a Disney wonderland had been created around me, all the animals came out of their quaint woodland dwellings to dance and sing with us. God showed up and cured world hunger, ended sadness, and invited all the sea nymphs out to play. The sky was bright and ice cream flowed from the trees. The flies and spiders were getting along together; my world was sublime. Then, strangely enough, in a grand finale of pleasure, a leprechaun popped out of my ass. Fellatio ensued.
Okay, so I made some of that up - I have no idea if there's actually a Care Bears theme song. That, and everybody knows I don't own a glitter pen. I want one though. A green one would be nice. Yes, a sparkly green glitter pen so I can write "I love Jesus" on my forehead.
I'll say this only once, If you want light hearted, read a fucking comic strip.
The other day while I was drawing sparkles in one of my notebooks with my favorite glitter pen and reflecting on how delightfully sun-drenched the day had been, I saw a rainbow and my eyes started to twinkle. I thought of ponies and added one into my picturesque scene. It was so tasty and winsome. But I thought my pony might get lonely so I had added puppies with big pink ribbons around their necks to keep him company. Ponies love puppies. Kitties too I imagined so I threw a few of those fabulously fluffy little creatures in also. I was so amazingly happy. Life was bubbly. I began to think about how great everything was. And just when I thought my overwhelming ecstasy from simply breathing and living couldn't get any better, elves busted in singing the Care Bears theme song and chocolate began falling from the sky. Magic was in the air. As if a Disney wonderland had been created around me, all the animals came out of their quaint woodland dwellings to dance and sing with us. God showed up and cured world hunger, ended sadness, and invited all the sea nymphs out to play. The sky was bright and ice cream flowed from the trees. The flies and spiders were getting along together; my world was sublime. Then, strangely enough, in a grand finale of pleasure, a leprechaun popped out of my ass. Fellatio ensued.
Okay, so I made some of that up - I have no idea if there's actually a Care Bears theme song. That, and everybody knows I don't own a glitter pen. I want one though. A green one would be nice. Yes, a sparkly green glitter pen so I can write "I love Jesus" on my forehead.
I'll say this only once, If you want light hearted, read a fucking comic strip.
posted by velvetcake at 8:06 PM
4 Comments:
i just wanted lack of cynicism, not i'm-so-happy-i-could-fly "everything is music" bullshit
perhaps some insights on life that deal with your experience outside the context of the cynical lense.
in other words, a somewhat serious post. i know it is radical but i would like to hear what you really have to say (philosophical converstaion with you is always fruitful).
Alright. I think I can manage that.
I don't know man... I just spent the last 5 minuets rolling on my floor convulsing in laughter... brightened my day.... besides do you have an outside of the cynical lense?
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