the cheery, smiling, gleeful, blithe me
My friend asked, nay, insisted, nay, in fact demanded, I post something more light hearted. Possibly something that left you with a warm and/or fuzzy feeling on the inside. There's only so much depression one can take apparently (or to put it another way, there's only so much of me one can take). So, happy once again, let me see what I can do.
Side note: My friend didn't actually demand anything, he merely suggested I try and be more jovial, I just really wanted to use the word nay so I made stuff up.
I electrocuted a Chinese kid the other day (I think this is light hearted in the "it happened to someone else so I don't really care" type of way). I got the poor schmuck to hold both ends of the power supply in lab. Oh, you silly, silly Chinese bastard. Why are you so easy to mock? Actually, I'm lucky he didn't karate chop me or backspin kick me. My kung fu skills are a little rusty so I don't know if I could have taken him or not. Nevertheless, I'm going to see if I can get him to touch a charged capacitor to his tongue next week. If he goes all crazy Chinese martial arts guy on me, my only hope will be that the electricity knocks off his chi so he's a bit less powerful. It's either that or I can bring my nunchucks with me. I think I can take him if I remember my nunchucks.
Another note of the side variety: I don't want to demean my ridiculously slanted eyed friend - I shouldn't keep stereotyping him and referring to him as the Chinese kid. He's got a name. It's Wang or Kim or some shit like that. I can't really remember. Anyway, he's a really great guy and fun to talk to when you can actually tell what the bloody hell he's saying.
In other news, I think my new diet of eating only black and white foods is starting to catch up with me. Two days now and all I've had is a box of Oreos and burnt toast with frosting on it. I'd eat something else but I honestly can't think of anything that's just black and white. I admit it's not a very good diet. I think I might have to go off it.
Now onto a completely new topic; I'm beginning to develop an irrational fear of things whose names can be formed from the letters of my middle name - ham, hats, mats, moats, math, ohms and.... shit, I don't know, moths. Mainly math though. It sucks. All those numbers. It simply gets needlessly complicated. I took a test in linear algebra the other day and practically had a heart attack (this was actually before I had developed my irrational fear of things that could be formed from the letters in my middle name, I almost had a heart attack from waking up five minutes before the test, slipping in my bathroom and almost dying, running through the freezing cold, and getting to class right before the professor locks you out to only then finally realize that I'm not as good looking as some other people in my class). The forth problem on the test made absolutely no sense to me so I started thinking about my middle name and how I could form quite a few words with its letters. I wasted just about all my time thinking about this and in the end had to turn the thing in leaving that problem completely blank. How does this have anything to do with the letters of my middle name and my irrational fear you ask? Well, fuck me swinging, I have no idea.
I have at this point decided that this last paragraph is going absolutely nowhere and am simply going to stop writing in a hope to save what little is left of my sanity. I think I'll put the remainder in a jar labeled "perishable." Boogly snorkel fork!
--Note--
I tried to find happy lyrics for the end of this thing. It was sort of hard to with all the sad bastard music I have in my collection. This was the best I could do. I guess I'll dedicate it to my girlfriend since I know she thinks it's one of the dumbest, silliest songs ever written. I think it's classy.
Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I got love in my tummy
and as silly as it may seem.
The loving that you're giving
is what keeps me living
and your love is like
peaches and cream.
Kind-a like sugar,
kind-a like spices,
kind-a like, like what you do.
Kind-a sounds funny,
but love, honey,
and honey, I love you.
Side note: My friend didn't actually demand anything, he merely suggested I try and be more jovial, I just really wanted to use the word nay so I made stuff up.
I electrocuted a Chinese kid the other day (I think this is light hearted in the "it happened to someone else so I don't really care" type of way). I got the poor schmuck to hold both ends of the power supply in lab. Oh, you silly, silly Chinese bastard. Why are you so easy to mock? Actually, I'm lucky he didn't karate chop me or backspin kick me. My kung fu skills are a little rusty so I don't know if I could have taken him or not. Nevertheless, I'm going to see if I can get him to touch a charged capacitor to his tongue next week. If he goes all crazy Chinese martial arts guy on me, my only hope will be that the electricity knocks off his chi so he's a bit less powerful. It's either that or I can bring my nunchucks with me. I think I can take him if I remember my nunchucks.
Another note of the side variety: I don't want to demean my ridiculously slanted eyed friend - I shouldn't keep stereotyping him and referring to him as the Chinese kid. He's got a name. It's Wang or Kim or some shit like that. I can't really remember. Anyway, he's a really great guy and fun to talk to when you can actually tell what the bloody hell he's saying.
In other news, I think my new diet of eating only black and white foods is starting to catch up with me. Two days now and all I've had is a box of Oreos and burnt toast with frosting on it. I'd eat something else but I honestly can't think of anything that's just black and white. I admit it's not a very good diet. I think I might have to go off it.
Now onto a completely new topic; I'm beginning to develop an irrational fear of things whose names can be formed from the letters of my middle name - ham, hats, mats, moats, math, ohms and.... shit, I don't know, moths. Mainly math though. It sucks. All those numbers. It simply gets needlessly complicated. I took a test in linear algebra the other day and practically had a heart attack (this was actually before I had developed my irrational fear of things that could be formed from the letters in my middle name, I almost had a heart attack from waking up five minutes before the test, slipping in my bathroom and almost dying, running through the freezing cold, and getting to class right before the professor locks you out to only then finally realize that I'm not as good looking as some other people in my class). The forth problem on the test made absolutely no sense to me so I started thinking about my middle name and how I could form quite a few words with its letters. I wasted just about all my time thinking about this and in the end had to turn the thing in leaving that problem completely blank. How does this have anything to do with the letters of my middle name and my irrational fear you ask? Well, fuck me swinging, I have no idea.
I have at this point decided that this last paragraph is going absolutely nowhere and am simply going to stop writing in a hope to save what little is left of my sanity. I think I'll put the remainder in a jar labeled "perishable." Boogly snorkel fork!
--Note--
I tried to find happy lyrics for the end of this thing. It was sort of hard to with all the sad bastard music I have in my collection. This was the best I could do. I guess I'll dedicate it to my girlfriend since I know she thinks it's one of the dumbest, silliest songs ever written. I think it's classy.
Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I got love in my tummy
and as silly as it may seem.
The loving that you're giving
is what keeps me living
and your love is like
peaches and cream.
Kind-a like sugar,
kind-a like spices,
kind-a like, like what you do.
Kind-a sounds funny,
but love, honey,
and honey, I love you.
posted by velvetcake at 11:49 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home