my long dark tea time
-- I have approved this post for a general audience --
Reports have come in that last Saturday night, in a state of utter inebriation, I toasted to the life and times of Slobodan Milosevic. I can't exactly recall doing this, and I was initially appalled at such an accusation, but thinking about it now, that's definitely something I would do. I'm a pretty shotty fellow sometimes. We toasted to a lot of things that night and each consecutive one gets hazier and hazier when I try to remember it, though apparently this one was earlier in the night's drinking escapade. I do remember toasting to Jessica Alba's good looks (probably used something less polite than 'good looks' when it happened) and if I remember correctly, we payed tribute to the prospect of my friend possibly getting laid at some point in his life. It was a decent night and ended with me being far less coherent than is really necessary.
--most people won't care about what follows--
The night didn't start particularly well though. I had a bit of a tiff with that gorgeous hypothetically existent loved one of mine. She works so much now that I hardly get to see her on the weekends (and of course I can't see her during the week because I reside in Hades and she's home). The whole situation makes for a bit of a strained relationship and she didn't take to the idea of me going off and getting ridiculously sloshed with my friends while I could have been sleeping beside her in a sleeping bag on the floor at her house. As I sit here now writing this, I can't help but think how lovelier a night that would have been (I would have undoubtedly felt a lot less like I had been beaten with a sack of puppies the next morning too) and if I hadn't committed to my friends like I did, I would have stayed with her as long as I could. So, I'm sorry my theoretical girl.
Due mainly to the fact that I wanted to write a post without any obscenities in it, I don't really have much else to say. I wanted to talk about something else but I would have undoubtedly cursed so I'm holding back till next time. I would like to mention that I had an absolutely atrocious cup of coffee today though. The stuff must have been sitting there for a week. Either that or they got the entire basketball team to wash their crotches in it. Don't get me wrong, I finished the bloody thing. It wasn't fun but I drank it. I can't say I didn't have regrets on the matter.
Reports have come in that last Saturday night, in a state of utter inebriation, I toasted to the life and times of Slobodan Milosevic. I can't exactly recall doing this, and I was initially appalled at such an accusation, but thinking about it now, that's definitely something I would do. I'm a pretty shotty fellow sometimes. We toasted to a lot of things that night and each consecutive one gets hazier and hazier when I try to remember it, though apparently this one was earlier in the night's drinking escapade. I do remember toasting to Jessica Alba's good looks (probably used something less polite than 'good looks' when it happened) and if I remember correctly, we payed tribute to the prospect of my friend possibly getting laid at some point in his life. It was a decent night and ended with me being far less coherent than is really necessary.
--most people won't care about what follows--
The night didn't start particularly well though. I had a bit of a tiff with that gorgeous hypothetically existent loved one of mine. She works so much now that I hardly get to see her on the weekends (and of course I can't see her during the week because I reside in Hades and she's home). The whole situation makes for a bit of a strained relationship and she didn't take to the idea of me going off and getting ridiculously sloshed with my friends while I could have been sleeping beside her in a sleeping bag on the floor at her house. As I sit here now writing this, I can't help but think how lovelier a night that would have been (I would have undoubtedly felt a lot less like I had been beaten with a sack of puppies the next morning too) and if I hadn't committed to my friends like I did, I would have stayed with her as long as I could. So, I'm sorry my theoretical girl.
Due mainly to the fact that I wanted to write a post without any obscenities in it, I don't really have much else to say. I wanted to talk about something else but I would have undoubtedly cursed so I'm holding back till next time. I would like to mention that I had an absolutely atrocious cup of coffee today though. The stuff must have been sitting there for a week. Either that or they got the entire basketball team to wash their crotches in it. Don't get me wrong, I finished the bloody thing. It wasn't fun but I drank it. I can't say I didn't have regrets on the matter.
posted by velvetcake at 9:31 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home