get, come, and join together

A while ago my girlfriend mentioned to me something her teacher told her class. This teacher, in her infinite wisdom, said "Kids these days see the forest but not the trees." She then went on to say something about technology and how we're growing up in a world that's becoming increasingly shrouded by it. I think I know what she's saying.

Basically, this is one of those stupid things older adults say about youth when they can't figure out how to operate the remote to their television or get their computer to do what they want. It goes something like this:

"God damn piece of rubbish computer. Press any key? Where's the any key? I don't have an any key. Fine. You know what? I might be so inept I can't figure out what to do here but kids these days don't see the trees. Yeah. Fuck em. They see the forest. That's it. I've still got em beat. I see everything. Fucking kids. What do they know? Nothing. That's what. Son, come here and fix this thing; I'm retarded."

Here's what I say: "Adults these days, especially white middle class Christian ones, stand in dark rooms, eyes closed, and pretend to know what's written on the wall in order to pass unfounded judgments on those who will one day be paying their social security. They have about as much insight regarding the forest as Helen Keller had regarding art. I have more faith in lobsters than I do in today's vast majority of so called rational grown ups."

Just because I can (and just because I happen to be listening to it), this is what The Beatles had to say, "Step right this way, roll up for the magical mystery tour." Maybe today's youth is the magical mystery tour. "They're coming to take you away. They're dying to take you away. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED." You can't stop the magical mystery tour. Soon those tree ignorant kids will be running this existence. Maybe then retirees will have something slightly more productive to say than obtuse sylvan analogies.

But, seriously, back to the lobster comment.

'Giant' Lobster Lives Up To Name

This man's twenty year quest to find a big fucking lobster has finally been reached. Almost a meter in length. Oh boy. How did this not make the news this morning?

"Thirty five year old virgin solidifies his future of never getting laid by admitting that he spent over half his life looking for big lobsters."

So this guy, Mr. I Have Sex With Lobsters, being thirty five must clearly see the trees then, right? His insight has served him well. He's got himself one hell of a crustacean.

Wait, oh my, I just reread the article. The lobster is thirty five years old, not Mr. Walsh. That's just crazy. What the fuck has that thing been doing for thirty five years. It's a lobster. What does he do all day, swim around and eat... whatever the fuck lobsters eat. Honestly, if I was a giant freshwater lobster, I'd just kill myself. That can't be a particularly fun or rewarding life.


"Seasons change with the scenery;
Weaving time in a tapestry.
Won't you stop and remember me
At any convenient time?
Funny how my memory skips
Looking over manuscripts
Of unpublished rhyme.

Drinking my vodka and lime,
I look around,
Leaves are brown,
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter."


--Note--
I'm not really so hypercritical of our middle aged, middle class taxpayers nor am I truly serious about any sweeping generalizations I just made; I just hate it when they, especially when they're teachers, say truly stupid things about my generation. I thought I should at least return the favor. Also, I think I might know the teacher who said that and I've got nothing against that person. That person is actually very nice. I seriously doubt he/she reads my blog though so I don't know why the bloody hell I'm apologizing. I guess I just like giving off the impression that I'm a nice guy. Though, seriously, I am a nice guy. You hear that ladies? Super nice. I like ponies and talking about my feelings. Wait, what am I doing? I have a girlfriend. Son of a bitch. I love you. This note is too long. Bye.