face full of black soot
I'm thinking I might pick up one of these babies for home defense -
USMC's New M-32s: Hitting the Field
It's a grenade launcher. I like this one because it can hold six 40mm grenades instead of just the one. In my mind, that was the true downfall with the M203 single shot grenade launcher. Sure I could have mounted it under my M4 or M16 assault rifle but I wouldn't have felt comfortable with only the one shot; I could miss. But with this new M-32 I'll be sure to get any bad guy that breaks into my house. I also really like the fact that I can fire all six rounds in under three seconds. That's definitely necessary and will prove useful the next time I go gopher hunting. The only problem is I think I might need some sort of license for this thing. Pretty lame if you ask me.
I'm also glad we finally got one of these -
MIT light detector may speed up interplanetary communications
This is really going to come in handy when I call my pal Zorflax over in the Andromeda Galaxy. It is easily the first unequivocally useful invention to come out of MIT. Finally those guys have come up with something practical that will help out Average Joe Consumer.
On a personal note, due to circumstances that are completely out of my control, it looks as if I will be forced to move from my home of nineteen years to reside in an apartment somewhere in Amsterdam of all places. To quote the philosopher Carlin, "I need this like I need an infected scrotum."
It seems my families ever ensuing financial woes have finally caught up with us and my mother simply can't afford to keep the house and pay the bills. I'm trying to think how I can make this funny but it's pretty fucking sad. You see now why I want to buy the grenade launcher though, right? Amsterdam = Crime = Breaking Into Matt's Apartment = Trying To Steal Matt's Computer = Some Poor Minority Fella Getting A Grenade Or Six To The Face.
To fill this post even more good news, I just found out I owe my school $350 which I don't have. They were kind enough not to not tell me about it and simply put a hold on my ID so I can't register for my classes next semester, which I need to do really soon, and I can't fill out my housing application, which is also due really soon. So thank you U-Albany, thank you for not even bothering to send my a fucking email letting me know what was going on with my financial aid.
Apparently what happened was I charged my books to my podium card, exactly like I did last semester, except this time it was after I had gotten my refund and tuition bill so I didn't even realize they were just going to bill me for all my books instead of taking it out of my financial aid. Also, for some reason which doesn't make any sense, I'm getting less aid this semester than I did last semester; it's all used up now so this $350 has to be payed out of pocket. Unfortunately I'm about $250 short. See, if I had known that I wasn't going to get any financial aid for my books like I did before, I would have used the money I was refunded at the beginning of the semester to buy them (which would have been all of it). They never really explain to you how all this financial aid shit works. I know I'm taking out a bunch of money in loans (all the money I was offered in fact), getting a boatload of dough from TAP and PAL, and have two decent scholarships that pay each semester, but I guess that's not enough.
Also, the financial aid lady I talked to was a bitch. Though I admit she probably wasn't the person to criticize for the bureaucracy of the financial aid office nor was she the one to point out to the hypocrisy behind my so called refund since it's by no means a refund if I have to just save it to pay for shit later that should have already been covered. Still, I was polite to her while she was simply rude. I asked her to make sure all my money had come through (last semester, instead of releasing my money, the bank decided not to release it - why, nobody knows) and that the math added up. She looked at me like I had just asked her to strip and give me oral pleasure, which I wouldn't have accepted just so you know on account of her looking like the Crypt Keeper.
Enough for now, just thinking about this is giving me a migraine. I guess later tonight I get to call and beg my dad for money. The guy has tons of it (lawyer) but he's always made it apparent that he'd rather spend it on vacations with his new family than help me out with my higher education.
--Note--
Alright, I'm obviously joking about the grenade launcher. That wouldn't be practical at all. Besides, everyone knows that you use a flamethrower for home defense which I'm pretty sure I can make myself. I saw a guy do it in a movie once. All I need is some tubing, a propane tank, and a lighter. And maybe a witty one liner like, "I hope you brought your wallet punk because the rent in hell is payed in advance." Actually, I really can't see myself saying that at all. Which sucks because I don't think flamethrowers even work unless you say a zippy one liner before hand. I don't know. Maybe I watch too many movies.
"Ah get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don't work
'Cause the vandals took the handles"
USMC's New M-32s: Hitting the Field
It's a grenade launcher. I like this one because it can hold six 40mm grenades instead of just the one. In my mind, that was the true downfall with the M203 single shot grenade launcher. Sure I could have mounted it under my M4 or M16 assault rifle but I wouldn't have felt comfortable with only the one shot; I could miss. But with this new M-32 I'll be sure to get any bad guy that breaks into my house. I also really like the fact that I can fire all six rounds in under three seconds. That's definitely necessary and will prove useful the next time I go gopher hunting. The only problem is I think I might need some sort of license for this thing. Pretty lame if you ask me.
I'm also glad we finally got one of these -
MIT light detector may speed up interplanetary communications
This is really going to come in handy when I call my pal Zorflax over in the Andromeda Galaxy. It is easily the first unequivocally useful invention to come out of MIT. Finally those guys have come up with something practical that will help out Average Joe Consumer.
On a personal note, due to circumstances that are completely out of my control, it looks as if I will be forced to move from my home of nineteen years to reside in an apartment somewhere in Amsterdam of all places. To quote the philosopher Carlin, "I need this like I need an infected scrotum."
It seems my families ever ensuing financial woes have finally caught up with us and my mother simply can't afford to keep the house and pay the bills. I'm trying to think how I can make this funny but it's pretty fucking sad. You see now why I want to buy the grenade launcher though, right? Amsterdam = Crime = Breaking Into Matt's Apartment = Trying To Steal Matt's Computer = Some Poor Minority Fella Getting A Grenade Or Six To The Face.
To fill this post even more good news, I just found out I owe my school $350 which I don't have. They were kind enough not to not tell me about it and simply put a hold on my ID so I can't register for my classes next semester, which I need to do really soon, and I can't fill out my housing application, which is also due really soon. So thank you U-Albany, thank you for not even bothering to send my a fucking email letting me know what was going on with my financial aid.
Apparently what happened was I charged my books to my podium card, exactly like I did last semester, except this time it was after I had gotten my refund and tuition bill so I didn't even realize they were just going to bill me for all my books instead of taking it out of my financial aid. Also, for some reason which doesn't make any sense, I'm getting less aid this semester than I did last semester; it's all used up now so this $350 has to be payed out of pocket. Unfortunately I'm about $250 short. See, if I had known that I wasn't going to get any financial aid for my books like I did before, I would have used the money I was refunded at the beginning of the semester to buy them (which would have been all of it). They never really explain to you how all this financial aid shit works. I know I'm taking out a bunch of money in loans (all the money I was offered in fact), getting a boatload of dough from TAP and PAL, and have two decent scholarships that pay each semester, but I guess that's not enough.
Also, the financial aid lady I talked to was a bitch. Though I admit she probably wasn't the person to criticize for the bureaucracy of the financial aid office nor was she the one to point out to the hypocrisy behind my so called refund since it's by no means a refund if I have to just save it to pay for shit later that should have already been covered. Still, I was polite to her while she was simply rude. I asked her to make sure all my money had come through (last semester, instead of releasing my money, the bank decided not to release it - why, nobody knows) and that the math added up. She looked at me like I had just asked her to strip and give me oral pleasure, which I wouldn't have accepted just so you know on account of her looking like the Crypt Keeper.
Enough for now, just thinking about this is giving me a migraine. I guess later tonight I get to call and beg my dad for money. The guy has tons of it (lawyer) but he's always made it apparent that he'd rather spend it on vacations with his new family than help me out with my higher education.
--Note--
Alright, I'm obviously joking about the grenade launcher. That wouldn't be practical at all. Besides, everyone knows that you use a flamethrower for home defense which I'm pretty sure I can make myself. I saw a guy do it in a movie once. All I need is some tubing, a propane tank, and a lighter. And maybe a witty one liner like, "I hope you brought your wallet punk because the rent in hell is payed in advance." Actually, I really can't see myself saying that at all. Which sucks because I don't think flamethrowers even work unless you say a zippy one liner before hand. I don't know. Maybe I watch too many movies.
"Ah get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don't work
'Cause the vandals took the handles"
posted by velvetcake at 12:21 PM
1 Comments:
sell ur powerbook....but seriously, that really really sucks
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