what the hell happened to Columbus Day?
This is a good example of how much I hate SUNY Albany:
Everybody and their fucking dog had Monday off from school. I've been getting Columbus Day off ever since I can remember. For an entire thirteen years I've had that day free to do whatever I wanted but apparently The University at Albany is just too fucking good for old Christopher Columbus. The guy sailed the ocean blue and what does he get from this institution? The middle finger is what he gets. Here's what this college thinks of Columbus - picture that scene in Pulp Fiction in the gunshop basement, but instead of Ving Rhames tied up with the man behind him, picture a sailor with the Spanish flag shoved in his mouth, wearing a silly hat and getting an astrolabe jammed up his ass by a man with a "Go U-Albany" shirt on.
Finding America and telling the civilized world about it is apparently a trivial piece of history here at my college. The guy goes and decides to sail across the fucking Atlantic Ocean back in 1492 in some piece of shit wooden boat with absolutely no idea what he's going to find, eating god knows what for the three month journey, and getting his ass handed to him by what is considered the worst storm of the century, only to make one the most monumental discoveries in modern history.
What does U-Albany have to say: "Pussy. Swim it and then we'll talk."
What I say: "Take your purple and gold flag and strangle yourself with it with it you ungrateful scumbags. Give me Columbus Day off."
Where would you be if it weren't for good old Chris and the Santa Marie? You'd be sitting at your house somewhere in Europe with a stupid accent and bad hygiene. Time to be patriotic people. This is America and there clearly aren't enough red, white, and blue "Support Our Troops" flags on the back of our SUVs to call off such a day like Columbus Day. Time to step it up people. And at a state university. I expected more. Real patriots celebrate columbus day. They get out a big fucking flag and dress up. They bust out their sailor outfits and take perverted pictures of themselves. They at least drink a beer and masturbate. If you Albany State administrators want to be called Americans, try being a little less churlish you thankless fuckwads (I've always liked that last word, though I can't exactly say I know what one is). You're pathetic and you disgust me. Shame on you.
I get Thursday off.... what the fuck is that? Thursday? What am I going to do with a Thursday off? Sit around and wait for Friday? It's completely worthless. Mondays and Fridays folks, that's what it's all about.
--Note--
Christopher Columbus was a total fool and a horrible person too. He thought he had landed in India for Christ sake. He had no idea where he was and when he got here all he could think about was how easy it would be to manipulate the natives. He was the first European to transport slaves Eastward across the Atlantic and is essentially the founder of the Atlantic Slave Trade and the whole Middle Passage ordeal. In his own personal journal he has accounts of using the native women as sex slaves. So, yeah, a real swell guy that Christopher Columbus. That whole bit above is complete shit in fact (make sure you ignore that stuff about patriotism, that's especially stupid). I'm just mad because the only good thing the guy ever did was to get me a day off from school and now I don't even get to enjoy that. They should just make it in recognition of someone else. Make it, say, Matt DeVall Day - "Matt DeVall: the guy who didn't rape women and commit genocide" - and that's more than you can say about Columbus.
Everybody and their fucking dog had Monday off from school. I've been getting Columbus Day off ever since I can remember. For an entire thirteen years I've had that day free to do whatever I wanted but apparently The University at Albany is just too fucking good for old Christopher Columbus. The guy sailed the ocean blue and what does he get from this institution? The middle finger is what he gets. Here's what this college thinks of Columbus - picture that scene in Pulp Fiction in the gunshop basement, but instead of Ving Rhames tied up with the man behind him, picture a sailor with the Spanish flag shoved in his mouth, wearing a silly hat and getting an astrolabe jammed up his ass by a man with a "Go U-Albany" shirt on.
Finding America and telling the civilized world about it is apparently a trivial piece of history here at my college. The guy goes and decides to sail across the fucking Atlantic Ocean back in 1492 in some piece of shit wooden boat with absolutely no idea what he's going to find, eating god knows what for the three month journey, and getting his ass handed to him by what is considered the worst storm of the century, only to make one the most monumental discoveries in modern history.
What does U-Albany have to say: "Pussy. Swim it and then we'll talk."
What I say: "Take your purple and gold flag and strangle yourself with it with it you ungrateful scumbags. Give me Columbus Day off."
Where would you be if it weren't for good old Chris and the Santa Marie? You'd be sitting at your house somewhere in Europe with a stupid accent and bad hygiene. Time to be patriotic people. This is America and there clearly aren't enough red, white, and blue "Support Our Troops" flags on the back of our SUVs to call off such a day like Columbus Day. Time to step it up people. And at a state university. I expected more. Real patriots celebrate columbus day. They get out a big fucking flag and dress up. They bust out their sailor outfits and take perverted pictures of themselves. They at least drink a beer and masturbate. If you Albany State administrators want to be called Americans, try being a little less churlish you thankless fuckwads (I've always liked that last word, though I can't exactly say I know what one is). You're pathetic and you disgust me. Shame on you.
I get Thursday off.... what the fuck is that? Thursday? What am I going to do with a Thursday off? Sit around and wait for Friday? It's completely worthless. Mondays and Fridays folks, that's what it's all about.
--Note--
Christopher Columbus was a total fool and a horrible person too. He thought he had landed in India for Christ sake. He had no idea where he was and when he got here all he could think about was how easy it would be to manipulate the natives. He was the first European to transport slaves Eastward across the Atlantic and is essentially the founder of the Atlantic Slave Trade and the whole Middle Passage ordeal. In his own personal journal he has accounts of using the native women as sex slaves. So, yeah, a real swell guy that Christopher Columbus. That whole bit above is complete shit in fact (make sure you ignore that stuff about patriotism, that's especially stupid). I'm just mad because the only good thing the guy ever did was to get me a day off from school and now I don't even get to enjoy that. They should just make it in recognition of someone else. Make it, say, Matt DeVall Day - "Matt DeVall: the guy who didn't rape women and commit genocide" - and that's more than you can say about Columbus.
posted by velvetcake at 11:56 AM
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