in another lifetime
The process of signing up for a new cell phone plan and buying a new phone is far more complicated than need be. It took me almost an hour and in the end I realized it probably would have been easier to jam the phone up my ass than to buy it. There were so many rules and loopholes for the company (in my case Verizon) to rape me and take my money that I began to have second thoughts on my purchase (my mother who was with me outright told the guy she wasn't ever going to buy a cell phone now). But, I needed a phone so I persevered. In the end I got a fancy little thing that I can talk into and take naked pictures of myself to send to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, I had to sign over my life to the company. A little piece of my soul will be owned by Verizon for the next two years. That was my commitment. Rather steep if you ask me. I had never had an actual cell plan before this (I used a pay as you go type thing) and I must say it's daunting.
Not nearly as daunting as going to see a gastroenterologist though. It wouldn't have been that bad of an experience if I had been a masochist and/or had a fetish for older Indian women with bad teeth. Anyway, I went because I've been getting nauseous when I try to eat in the morning and even into midday. The doctor told me it's because I've been taking so much ibuprofen for my migraines. It's apparently causing the lining of my stomach to swell up along with my liver and probably some other shit down there. Ironically, it's also causing me to get headaches. How the fuck that works is beyond me but long term use of the shit will do that. So, now I can't take any pain medication and get to just live with my headaches.
What was irritating about the whole visit (besides the point where the doctor wanted to stick her finger up my ass and I had to politely explain that that sort of thing wasn't or me) is that the gastroenterologist, and then my regular primary care doctor when she sent me over to him afterwards, treated me like I had fucking smack addiction. They're like, 'Alright Matt, we've got to get you off these pain meds. You have to stop doing this to yourself. I know it's tempting to pop a few pills here and there but you have to show some restraint.' What hell is that? I thought they were going to put me into rehab for a couple minutes while I was there. I'm not addicted to Advil, I was simply taking it to deal with pain. I didn't know what it was doing to me. It's a basic over the counter pain medication yet they talked to me like I was doing heroine. Then, to make things even more insulting, my primary care doctor told me I was taking all the pills because I saw advertisements for them on cable TV. I don't even have cable TV you fuckwad. I'm not so impressionable that I'd just start taking medicine because I saw an advertisement for it. I get migraines and the ibuprofen makes them go away. That's why I took them. What a bunch of assholes.
On a completely different note, girls should put flowers in their hair more often. I picture a beautiful girl with silver bracelets on her wrists and blossoms in her curls. She would walk up to me so gracefully, and since it's obvious this is from a Bob Dylan song now, she'd take my crown of thorns. Though, I don't think I really have a crown of thorns to be taken. I mean, obviously the fellow in that song had problems, not that I don't, but none that would require such poetry. I always figured the song was a love ballad but with all Dylan songs the more I think about it the less sure I am. I think it's about a girl but I think he fucks it up in the end. I have girl. Meets the description pretty well - no silver bracelet but she does wear a silver watch I bought her and while she doesn't typically put flowers in her hair she does have the prefect hair to do so.
I was actually reading my girlfriend's blog and listening to this song earlier. She's off to college now and I don't think she's particularly enjoying it. Naturally we both miss each other. I'm just hoping I can make the whole situation work. I don't think I have much of choice since I'm completely crazy about her. I guess I just get to be miserable. Doesn't seem fair.
She wrote the other day and complained that she had to spend too much money on books and supplies, saying something along the lines of 'going into debt for college is priceless.' While I certainly sympathize with her for having to spend a boatload of money on books and supplies (and she had to spend a bit more than most kids because she has art supplies along with her books) she hasn't actually gone into a single cent of debt nor will she ever have to which makes it all a little insulting. Her financial situation is allowing her essentially a free ride at an expensive private college with no loans to be paid back. The money she spent on books came out of either the nice wad of cash she received at awards night at the end of high school or the nice wad of cash she got at her family graduation party where she also received a nice new fancy laptop and printer. And if that money ever runs out there will always be plenty more for her. So, seriously, I give her my sympathy; it's not fun spending all that money but she has it better than just about anybody else. She's extraordinarily lucky and it is a bit insulting to those of us who are going to be well over twenty thousand dollars in debt by the end of our four years (and I count myself lucky for that, some kids have it even worse).
A lot of people don't realize what they have. I'm probably just as bad though so I guess I can't talk. I mean, everyone is ungrateful for what they have. They get use to their situation and begin to take it for granted.
"Oh you big mouth woman you long legged guitar pickin' man
But we can work this out uh huh yes ma'm I think we can
Well I stole the Hope diamond hopin' I could shut your mouth
But how am I gonna wear it if I got to hide it out "
--Note--
Dylan's new album is actually pretty good. Everyone should go buy it... I didn't because I'm a cheap bastard but everyone else certainly should.
Not nearly as daunting as going to see a gastroenterologist though. It wouldn't have been that bad of an experience if I had been a masochist and/or had a fetish for older Indian women with bad teeth. Anyway, I went because I've been getting nauseous when I try to eat in the morning and even into midday. The doctor told me it's because I've been taking so much ibuprofen for my migraines. It's apparently causing the lining of my stomach to swell up along with my liver and probably some other shit down there. Ironically, it's also causing me to get headaches. How the fuck that works is beyond me but long term use of the shit will do that. So, now I can't take any pain medication and get to just live with my headaches.
What was irritating about the whole visit (besides the point where the doctor wanted to stick her finger up my ass and I had to politely explain that that sort of thing wasn't or me) is that the gastroenterologist, and then my regular primary care doctor when she sent me over to him afterwards, treated me like I had fucking smack addiction. They're like, 'Alright Matt, we've got to get you off these pain meds. You have to stop doing this to yourself. I know it's tempting to pop a few pills here and there but you have to show some restraint.' What hell is that? I thought they were going to put me into rehab for a couple minutes while I was there. I'm not addicted to Advil, I was simply taking it to deal with pain. I didn't know what it was doing to me. It's a basic over the counter pain medication yet they talked to me like I was doing heroine. Then, to make things even more insulting, my primary care doctor told me I was taking all the pills because I saw advertisements for them on cable TV. I don't even have cable TV you fuckwad. I'm not so impressionable that I'd just start taking medicine because I saw an advertisement for it. I get migraines and the ibuprofen makes them go away. That's why I took them. What a bunch of assholes.
On a completely different note, girls should put flowers in their hair more often. I picture a beautiful girl with silver bracelets on her wrists and blossoms in her curls. She would walk up to me so gracefully, and since it's obvious this is from a Bob Dylan song now, she'd take my crown of thorns. Though, I don't think I really have a crown of thorns to be taken. I mean, obviously the fellow in that song had problems, not that I don't, but none that would require such poetry. I always figured the song was a love ballad but with all Dylan songs the more I think about it the less sure I am. I think it's about a girl but I think he fucks it up in the end. I have girl. Meets the description pretty well - no silver bracelet but she does wear a silver watch I bought her and while she doesn't typically put flowers in her hair she does have the prefect hair to do so.
I was actually reading my girlfriend's blog and listening to this song earlier. She's off to college now and I don't think she's particularly enjoying it. Naturally we both miss each other. I'm just hoping I can make the whole situation work. I don't think I have much of choice since I'm completely crazy about her. I guess I just get to be miserable. Doesn't seem fair.
She wrote the other day and complained that she had to spend too much money on books and supplies, saying something along the lines of 'going into debt for college is priceless.' While I certainly sympathize with her for having to spend a boatload of money on books and supplies (and she had to spend a bit more than most kids because she has art supplies along with her books) she hasn't actually gone into a single cent of debt nor will she ever have to which makes it all a little insulting. Her financial situation is allowing her essentially a free ride at an expensive private college with no loans to be paid back. The money she spent on books came out of either the nice wad of cash she received at awards night at the end of high school or the nice wad of cash she got at her family graduation party where she also received a nice new fancy laptop and printer. And if that money ever runs out there will always be plenty more for her. So, seriously, I give her my sympathy; it's not fun spending all that money but she has it better than just about anybody else. She's extraordinarily lucky and it is a bit insulting to those of us who are going to be well over twenty thousand dollars in debt by the end of our four years (and I count myself lucky for that, some kids have it even worse).
A lot of people don't realize what they have. I'm probably just as bad though so I guess I can't talk. I mean, everyone is ungrateful for what they have. They get use to their situation and begin to take it for granted.
"Oh you big mouth woman you long legged guitar pickin' man
But we can work this out uh huh yes ma'm I think we can
Well I stole the Hope diamond hopin' I could shut your mouth
But how am I gonna wear it if I got to hide it out "
--Note--
Dylan's new album is actually pretty good. Everyone should go buy it... I didn't because I'm a cheap bastard but everyone else certainly should.
posted by velvetcake at 1:58 PM
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