headpiece filled with straw

If anyone can name the poem the title of this post is from, I will give you my last chocolate chip cookie the next time I see you, pending of course I don't eat it first (if you can't get it from the title it's just about given to you in the quote at the end). First person to comment with the answer wins a tasty treat, home made with a little something special. That's right, love (A.K.A my semen).

Today was the start of the second semester for me. I'm already looking forward to the coming weekend. I'm counting the days until the stabbing pain in my chest resulting from being here will be replaced with the dull ache in my stomach resulting from realizing I'll eventually have to come back. Is that pessimistic? I sure hope so.

You may be asking yourself what my class schedule is like. What? You weren't? Well, fuck you, I'm telling you anyway.

Linear Algebra - I think in order to be a professor here at U-Albany in either the math or science department you have to speak bad English because the guy who teaches this class sounds like he learned to speak at dog training school. The course itself might prove interesting if I decide I like pain. I get to solve matrices. Oh joy of joys. I hate numbers.

Chemistry - The professor for this class is the coolest man at this institution. He's older than dirt and looks like he's about to keel over and die any minute. It takes him ten minutes to walk from his computer to the chalkboard. It's like having a grandpa teach your class. He actually has us take a five minute break each lecture. At first I just thought he was being nice but now I think it's because he might not make it the full hour and a half otherwise. How the hell this man is still working is beyond me but the guy wears suspenders and has a pocket protector so he's fucking awesome.

Physics - My physics professor thinks he's the coolest guy in the world but he's not. He's an ass, he just doesn't know it. I hope his crotch lights on fire somehow. At least I can tell what he's saying. I don't know if I'm going to like electro-magnetism. We learned about quarks today. Holy crap is that geeky.

Greek Archeology - I haven't attended this class yet. I want to get my hopes up about it but I just don't know. I'd probably be disappointed. It will be the only class I've had so far that is taught by a woman. I have no idea if this is a good thing or not or completely unimportant as far as goodness goes.

I found a girl I really like this vacation which was nice but now I can't see her and it's making me incredibly depressed. It's been one day and I'm about to start slamming my head in my desk drawer just so I can stop thinking about her. I miss talking to her, I miss her smell, her taste, I miss her little quirks... I sound like an ass but it's all true. The weekends don't come soon enough. Not to be melodramatic or anything (too late), but I feel like I'm wasting away here. I need to transfer out. My problem is that when I chose to come here I did so because I felt I was paying for my education and not the college experience. And as far as education goes, Albany is cheap. You get what you pay for. I need to get the fuck out of here.

--Note--
Okay, I ate the cookie. Didn't even get done writing the post. Sorry. But, for a reward now, the first person to comment on here with the answer will get the the double barrel fingers shot at them by me the next time I see them. That's the best I can do. It's either that or you can see me naked. Your choice.


"This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper"

a lousy can

Upon posting my last blog entry, I received several comments from friends pointing out the apparent, shall we say, badness of my blog. One friend even went so far as to say I was running out of things to talk about. I found this rather amusing since it's assuming I had something to say to begin with, which obviously I did not.

My latest attempt to piss off P.E.T.A - I'm starting a club. It's called N.A.B.S.C.A (North American Baby Seal Clubbing Association). If anyone would like to join just let me know. No meetings or anything. In fact, I doubt we'll ever really accomplish anything. It's simply for people who hate baby seals but aren't in enough of a seal thriving location to do anything about it.

I saw a man the other day driving around in a rusted, clapped out Chevy Celebrity hauling what appeared to be a trunk full of trash being held shut with a bungie cord. The man was so huge he had to roll the window down just to fit in his car. He was also either wearing a coat with a fur neckliner or had a really hairy back. Hard to tell. The guy obviously molests children.

Speaking of child molesters. My friend (the one in the scary ass picture I posted) is going to play a child molesting priest (seems sort of redundant) in a play his college is putting on (I just assumed this, he didn't say, but I'm guessing it isn't for his church). I'm hoping it's a musical.

I watched Mystic River yesterday for the first time. I must say, it wasn't the uplifting, brighten your day, make you feel better about yourself sort of movie I was hoping it would be. Not nearly as cheerful as Million Dollar Baby. Clint Fucking Eastwood. A real ray of sunshine that man. I bet that guy laughed when Bambi's mom died. What a bastard... he's my hero.

Just so everyone knows, the title of this post means absolutely nothing. Though, I bet my philosophical post structuralist friend could come up with something for you. You know, something like, "A can has no top and that represents the inevitable void resulting from the existential pre-cursing despondency from the overlying humanity every person faces. In conclusion, Matt is an asshole for ditching me on New Years. Libertarians suck."


--Note--
I am not running out of things to talk about. It's just becoming more and more obvious that I never had anything to talk about from the start. The fact that I already said this but am saying it again in a slightly reworded way is evidence of it.


"Last night I held Aladdin's lamp
And so I wished that I could stay
Before the thing could answer me
Well, someone came and took the lamp away
I looked around, a lousy candle's all I found"